The Ooo Diaries
by beesammi
Summary: The gender-swapped land of Ooo through Marshall Lee's eyes.
1. Adventure Time with Fionna and Cake

I stretched as I rose from my bed. 6:30, perfect. Just when the sun was about to set so I didn't have to wear any dumb hats to shield me from the sun. Sometimes I wonder what it's like to enjoy the sun… I thought about it as I threw on a red plaid shirt and buttoned it up.

I walked out my door and floated over the stream that ran through my cave. My stomach raved. "Urgrrrrrrrgrgrgrgrgrgr."

Well, that sounded messed up. I guess I forgot to eat breakfast- uh, dinner? Whatever. I snatched up a few red flowers as I floated over a meadow and sunk my teeth into them.

By the time I reached Fiona and Cake's treehouse, the crimson flowers had transformed into white flowers. Just as I came to the treehouse door, Fiona walked out, putting her backpack on.

"Hey Fionna, I brought you some…" I looked down at the white flowers. "Uh, daisies." I held out the colorless bouquet.

"Um, thanks." Fionna reached for the flowers, but not before I set them on fire. "Or not. We were just leaving."

"We were supposed to hang out today!" I looked up and flashed my sharp fangs. "Where you going?"

Cake popped out of the backpack. "We're going to Prince Gumball's castle!"

"Ugh, him?" I wrinkled my nose. "He's such a geek, wayyyyy boring."

"He's a lot nicer than you!" Cake retorted, pointing her oddly human-like paws in my direction. "Onward, Fionna!" She raised her small, furry fist.

"I'm not a horse, Cake." Fionna rolled her eyes. "But we should get going before the creatures of the night come out, I don't really have time to fight them."

"Like meeee?" I growled and turned my head in to wolf form, trying to scare them. But Fionna just kept walking forward. I jumped in front of them, but they didn't seem to care. Well, except the fact that Cake had dove into the backpack and probably couldn't see me. I decided to follow them. It would be fun to mess with Gumball. I floated to catch up with them, and touched my feet down gingerly and started walking.

"So… You and Gumball?" I raised my eyebrows.

Fionna's bangs swung as she turned to me, blushing. "No! I just like hanging out with the candy people. I'm a kid, you know." Fionna adjusted her bunny hat.

"Hm. Okay, here's a question." I began. "What would you do if… Gumball licked Cake's face?"

"Hm.. I'd probably slap him 'cause that's weird junk." She waved her arms as she spoke the last two words.

We came to the pretzel gate of the candy kingdom and were greeted by the most adorable little Lollipop guards.

"Hullo, Fionna. Here to see Gumball?" The red lollipop inquired.

"He must be tasty…" I whispered to Fionna.

"Yeah, can we go in?" Fionna replied to the guard while glaring at me.

"Surely, Fionna." The guard noticed me and gasped with alarm. "But the drooling vampire must stay away from here!"

"But he-" Fionna began before I cut her off.

"Fi, it's fine… I'll just…" I winked. "See you soon."

Fionna wandered in with Cake, who was just barely peeking out of the pack watching me. I looked at the lollipops.

"Do you like being red? Or would you rather be butter scotch?" I approached the red lollipop.

"Oh, butterscotch sounds nice. That's my favorite flavor!" He beamed.

I nodded and dove at the guard, easily sinking my teeth into the hard, sweet, sucker. When I stepped away, he had been drained of color.

"Ooooooh." The newly white lolli-guard turned to his colleague. "How do I look?"

"You look good! It takes like 10 pounds off of you! Can you do me, too?" The pink lolli-guard turned to me.

I guess pink was close enough because I was able to drain the color from him too. It didn't taste as good as crimson, though. And while they were squealing about their new looks, I simply floated past them and into the candy castle at the center of town. I slithered in through the window, ready to make Gumball pee his pants.

I found them in the main ballroom, talking about science or some junk. Still on the ground, I came up behind Gumball and rose up from the ground. Fionna noticed me, but couldn't say anything before I licked Gumball's cheek with my forked tongue.

"Agh!" Gumball shrieked, and twisted around to meet my soulless eyes. He jumped when he saw me.

"Bubblegum flavor." I hissed in an eerie voice.

"Fionna, you brought Marshall Lee?" Gumball snapped.

I cackled. "Hello, Bubba. Long time no see."


	2. Abducted!

**Sorry it's short, and very fast moving. Yeah.**

GUMBALL'S POV  
>"And that's what zanoids are!" I explained to Cake and Fionna's blank faces. Their eyes wandered from me to the wall behind me. "What are you looking at?" I asked. Fionna opened her mouth, but before she spoke, something wet stroked my face. I spun around in horror. Of course, it was Marshall Lee.<br>"Bubblegum flavor." Marshall hissed as a sharp grin crossed his face.  
>I turned and glared at Fionna. "Fionna, you brought Marshall Lee?" She shrugged with a squeamish grin.<br>"Hello Bubba, long time no see." Marshall Lee cackled, his face turning to wolf form. I hated that name. I wish I had never told him my name… But I never thought he would use it against me so much! But he was different before he met Ashley. Anyways…  
>Marshall's rabid foam dripped on my ballroom's hard candy floor. I lost my train of thought, what was I gonna ask Fionna? It was something… About…<br>"Wait, don't touch her!" I heard Cake cry out and I spun around to find Marshall prowling over my red-striped servant, Peppermint Maid. Fionna ran and kicked Marshall in the face, sending him back and away from Peppermint Maid. Marshall Lee jumped at Fionna and grabbed her hat, revealing the long, shimmering, blonde mop that I hadn't seen since she had a pixie cut. (She gave her hair to a Warlock) Fionna's face flushed and she dove for her hat, but Marshall Lee glided to the ceiling where Fionna couldn't reach.  
>"Give it back!" Fionna threw her sword up, but it missed by a long shot and fell to the floor with a clank. By the time she retrieved her sword, Marshall had fastened the hat around his thick, black hair.<br>"Give it back!" Marshall flailed in a mocking-manner, speaking in falsetto.  
>"C'mon, dude. Don't be such a hat-napper." Fionna slumped and turned to Cake for aid, but Cake had wondered off to somewhere unknown.<br>"C'mon, dude. Don't be such a hat-napper." Marshall mimicked again.  
>"Two can play at this…" Fionna mumbled, running her fingers through her hair to make it stick up. She took her sword and held it like a guitar. "I'm Marshall Lee, the vampire king. I use my weapon as a musical instrument and get my kicks by bringing nightmares to babies!" Fionna made her voice low and spaced out the words, strumming her sword like a banjo. Marshall Lee narrowed his eyes and lowered himself about halfway.<br>"Ha ha! This is quite humorous." I clapped my hands. Then I realized that sounded kind of dorky and stepped away a little. Marshall Lee stared at me, grinning.  
>"Wasn't that funny... How long has it been since you've had fun, Bubba?" He came closer to me.<br>"I have fun all the time! Today I dissected some radio-active dimple plants!" I gushed, remembering the fabulous discoveries I had made that morning. I turned to Peppermint Maid, who was still cowering and quivering in the corner. "Remind me to send my theories to Professor Compute later." Marshall Lee recoiled in disgust.  
>"You call THAT fun? Ha, you don't even know."<br>"Oh please, like you know what fun is." I crossed my arms. Marshall floated towards me, even closer this time. Our noses were almost touching.  
>"I could show you if you would just let me." He flashed his teeth at me, obviously aware how uncomfortable I was. "Have you ever been to the Waste Lands? There's all kinds of cool junk to mess with!" Suddenly, glass rained everywhere like a knife storm. Something was hovering in the air, something blue. And old. Ice Queen. She clutched Cake in a small carrier thing. It was gray, will some kind of ticket stamp on the side and another sticker that read "this side up." I hadn't seen anything like it before.<br>Her hair fluttered and she swooped down towards Fionna, grabbing her by the waist and flying back towards the broken window. Marshall Lee flew up to retrieve the young hero, but the Ice Queen shoved her cool blue hand in her white hair and pulled out a wooden cross along with a handful of dandruff. Although the cross shouldn't have affected Marshall when the Ice Queen chucked it, it smacked him in the face and sent him in a dizzying crash a the Ice Queen made her get away. I rushed to Marshall's side and shook him to consciousness.  
>MARSHALL LEE'S POV Everything was pink and fuzzy as I tried to open my eyes. My face stung as everything became clear once again. Bubba was standing over me, a look of anxiety on his pink face. I sat up quickly, looking around at the broken ballroom. Why had the Ice Queen taken Fionna instead of Gumball? Weirdo.<br>"Well I guess I'll go after her." I shrugged, probably wouldn't take long if I flew.  
>"I'm coming, too!" Bubba declared and puffed out his chest "heroically."<br>"No! You'll just slow me down." I waved him off.  
>"It's my fault he's gone. Just let me go! You can show me how to have 'fun'" Bubba made air quotes.<br>"Fine if you want to go so bad… It's gonna take longer to get there since we have to walk…"  
>"Why?"<br>"You're to heavy to carry, man."  
>"Offensive!" Bubba whined. Then looked at me "We could take Lord Monochromocorn!"<p> 


	3. The Journey Part 1

**Hey, I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry. It has literally been over a year since I updated and I apologize. I really don't like this story very much so I'm not sure whether I should continue or not? I probably won't unless you really want me too. I'd actually like to start a new Adventure Time one if this doesn't work out. Thanks for all the favorites though! :)**

"Dude, where's your flying horse?" I asked Bubba when he led me outside, I really didn't have time to wait around for some floating mule. Bubba turned to glare at me.

"He's not a horse, Marshall Lee."

"Haha, sorry Princey. Just get a move on we gotta rescue Fionna before sunrise!"

"Why it's not like Ice-Queen is that dangerous?"

"Well y'know I'm not really in the mood to be burned alive."

"Oh yeah the whole vampire thing…"

I smacked my forehead, for such a major science geek he was pretty slow. "Just call your horse already."

"HE'S NOT A FLOOPIN' HORSE!" Bubba waved his arms frantically while Lord Monochromacorn landed daintily behind him. I brushed past him and climbed onto the large, black beast.

"Fine have it your way, Bubs. It's not a horse okay? Now can we please move it along?" I was seriously getting annoyed with that square. FINALLY he jumped on the stupid horse and got in the air. "Well I think I've just about died of old age."

"You're immortal."

"Oh, no really? I had no idea." I rolled my eyes as we zoomed past the clouds. For a stupid horse, this thing was pretty fast. It was nice not having to waste energy flying by myself for a change. The silence was killing me.

"So… Pants." I said the first thing that came to mind.

"What?" Bubba turned to me in confusion. I guess pants are pretty random.

"Well, I dunno. It's just so quiet. And then I said pants, the end." I smirked.

He replied with one of the words that is almost certain to end a conversation. "Oh." Well now what?

"So…" This conversation was way more awkward than it should've been. "What's up?" His brow furrowed and he remained silent a moment before answering.

"We are?"

For some reason, that was really funny to me and I started laughing uncontrollably.

"It was not that funny?" Bubba still seemed confused. For someone so "Scientific" he gets confused easily. But don't we all? I looked down over the side of Lord Monochromacorn to see that we were crossing over into the Ice Kingdom. I didn't really notice a change in temperature since well, I'm dead.

All was calm and going smoothly.

WOOSH! Something flew right past the horse-thing.

"WHAT WAS THAT!?" I shouted in confusion and shock.

"I… I don't know."

Another came past, even closer than before. They looked black and white… Wait.

"Is she seriously launching Penguins at us?!" I almost laughed at how ridiculous that was.

"I guess so. But don't worry, Lord Monochromacorn can dodge them eas-" The black beast swerved to avoid a flying penguin heading straight at us, lurching us to the right and over the edge.


End file.
